Piece of Love
by Anomay
Summary: Tatsuha heard a song when he first met Ryuichi - a song that both pulls him in and pushes him away. [Finally an update!]
1. Encounter

Piece of Love   
By Anomay 

Rating: PG-13 (for now, anyway)  
Genre: Angst/Romance

Summary: Tatsuha heard a song when he first met Ryuichi - a song that both pulls him in and pushes him away. 

Author note: Big thanks go to Anahita and Naoko for being my beta-readers. 

Chapter One: Encounter

  
*~*~*

The dimly lit bedroom of the ill teenaged boy was unusually crowded for a Saturday afternoon. The boy, who was pale and small for his age, was very uncomfortable with all the unusual candles pilling up against his bed. The curtains over the windows were shut tightly, effectively blocking all sunshine from entering the room. The anime figures residing on his nightstand were pushed aside to make room for incense sticks and wooden swords for the exorcism. 

Uesugi Tatsuha looked uncharacteristically alert and serious when wearing his Buddhist monk robe and Mala, rosary made of wooden beads, around his neck. Crossing his legs, he sat in front of a wooden relic beside the bed and started chanting Buddhist scriptures in a low, deep voice.

The boy's family looked hopefully at the young priest that was recommended to them by their helpful friends. They were a bit skeptical about his expertise, but their friends assured that he was trained in the most reputable temple in Kyoto ever since he was five, so he was more than qualified for the task. 

As the medical doctors could not find any problems with the patient, they were led to believe that the evil spirits were the root of his illness. The family believed that spiritual healing was the only hope for any chance of recovery of the bed-ridden boy. 

The room was stuffy with the smell of incense and candles; no one would dare to breathe loudly because of the solemn atmosphere. The boy looked bored as Tatsuha continued on with his rhymed praying; he glanced at the windows and noted the small crack of light coming out of the bottom of the curtain.

Suddenly, Tatsuha ceased chanting and stood up. Brushing the dust away from his monk robe, he glared at everyone around the room. 

The boy's uncle asked in indignation, raising his eyebrows, will he be all right? We can always increase the fees if you so desire, as long as you can fix the problems.

Well Tatsuha mumbled.

Please tell us. We are prepared to take any bad news, the mother said gravely. She clasped her hands together and shot Tatsuha a desperate look. A concerned and gentle look was also given to her dear son, but the latter yawned and ignored his mother.

Tatsuha frowned. Pulling the sutra out of his long sleeves, he said, I regret to tell you that the evil spirits are strong, he nodded to the patient boy on the bed, we have to use drastic measure. 

Everyone drew in a collective gasp. The boy's grandmother started shaking violently and threw up her hands, Please! Do anything you can to help him! We beg you!

Of course, my lady, I will do everything I can. This is what I am here for, said Tatsuha, In order to save him, I am willing to sacrifice myself to the influence of the evil spirits, at no extra cost, 

Tatsuha's speech was momentarily interrupted by the loud air intakes by almost everyone in the room. He waited for them to calm down before continuing.

By bedding with him.

*~*~*

Tatsuha swore loudly as he rode his motorbike to the meeting place proposed by his friends. The wind caressed his black hair into a stylish mess underneath the hemlet as he stepped on the gas and tackled a steep corner. The skin hugging leather black pants made him look more like a normal high school student than the monk-in-training that he was only minutes ago.

Damn! For a second he was convinced that he had his clients fooled, until they roared in anger and kicked him out of the mansion, calling him a charlatan and a pervert, and refused to pay his fees. 

Well, it was fun while it lasted. At least he had the chance to watch the cute boy laugh for a good three minutes before his relatives recovered from their shock and banished Tatsuha from the property.

As far as Tatsuha could see, the causes of the boy's sickness were the insufferable company around him and the lack of exposure to any sunshine. Seriously, anyone would have gotten sick for staying indoors paste-faced all the time, not unlike his older brother Eiri did.

Speaking of Eiri, Tatsuha realized that he hadn't visited him for a while. He made a mental note to go visit him in Tokyo soon. Eiri and his lover Shuichi were both amusing to tease. The brothers got along quite well, despite the differences in their personalities. Tatsuha was even asked to watch their house during the summer holiday while they went on vacation.

But before that, there was still the matter of the botched exorcism that he had to deal with. Tatsuha didn't go straight home to report the failure to his father. After the unpleasant event in the afternoon, he needed to relax before he was ready to hear long lectures from his father again. Tatsuha didn't want to be condemned for his irresponsibility as a monk-in-training or how he would turn out wrong like Eiri etc cetera. 

He was still sixteen, a teenage that needed to have fun (and get laid) once in a while!

Stopping his bike in front of a popular Karaoke bar, Datenshi Blue, he waved and grinned to his friends who were waiting for him outside.

Hey, Tatsuha, you're late! What's the deal? asked one of his classmates, Nikaidou Arimi, as she punched his shoulder playfully. 

Nothing, I was held up on a job. Where's Dachi, that old dog, screwing around with his new girlfriends again?

I'm here! Hey, what, your eyes can only see potential new targets but not your most faithful, wonderful buddy? Suzuki Dachi said. The boys and girls started to snicker and whistle.

Of course not, I'm just not used to seeing you when you're not surrounded by hundreds of girls, Tatsuha smirked, let's go in now!

  
*~*~*

  
The group got a private karaoke booth all by themselves. Tatsuha ran towards the projector and snapped up one of the three Karaoke microphones, raising it up in triumph.

Ha, I got it! No one will get to touch this mic tonight, since I'm going to sing Nittle Graspers songs all night long!

Wow, our No.1 Nittle Graspers fanboy is at it again. Honestly, do you listen to nothing but Grasper songs? teased Arimi as she picked up the remote control and punched in the song selections.

Of course! I'll gladly die for Grasper, especially for Ryuichi!

Because of the sheer number of people in the room, Tatsuha didn't get to keep the mic for all night after all, so he occupied his time by flirting with anyone who wasn't singing until it was his turn to sing again.

Shining Collection, one of my favourites! Tatsuha squeaked, causing his friends to laugh again. 

Well, looks like someone is singing Grasper songs next door too, Tatsuha! Dachi smiled and slurred down the third serving of his beer. 

Technically, he shouldn't have been drinking since he was underage, as everyone was inside the room, however, the Karaoke bartenders could care less because they made more money from alcoholic drinks.

You're right, it's Be There, Tatsuha grinned, I could recognize the melody anytime. However Tatsuha listened on more attentively, pressing his ear to the wall. 

The more Tatsuha heard the stranger sing, the more excited he got. The voice sounded awfully familiar for some reasons. 

It couldn't be ----!

I have to get going now, guys, thanks, I had fun tonight, bye! Tatsuha slurred as he threw some money and rushed out of the door, almost tripping over his friend's feet by the exit. 

What's the rush, buddy? Aren't you gonna finish your song first before you go? Tatsuha! You forgot your stuff! 

Tatsuha quickly picked up his jacket and hemlet before he turned his heels and disappeared from the booth.

*~*~*

That voice had to belong to Sakuma Ryuichi. He was sure of it. Tatsuha knew Ryuichi's voice when he heard it. By being Grasper biggest fan for such a long time, how could he not realize it when his idol was singing live next door? 

He would have killed for a chance to meet Sakuma Ryuichi in person. Because of the fact that he was the brother-in-law of Seguchi Tohma, one of the keyboardists of Nittle Grasper, all of his friends, (and he himself, at some point) were convinced that this would guarantee his chance to meet Ryuichi ages ago.

However, for some reasons that Tatsuha couldn't fathom, Mika, his sister and the wife of Tohma, was extremely unhelpful when Tatsuha asked her to arrange for him to meet the vocalist. It made him think Mika was almost afraid to let the two of them meet, except Tatsuha knew that his sister wasn't afraid of anything in the world.

Standing in front of the glass door next door, Tatsuha breathed in deeply before knocking on the door. Getting no reply, he turned the door handle and invited himself in. 

Sitting in the middle of the room alone and singing in the darkness was none other than the man of his dream, Sakuma Ryuichi himself. Tatsuha felt that he could faint from the excitement at seeing his idol in person. He could almost knee down and thank Buddha or Kami or whatever out there for the opportunity, but his body was frozen on the spot due to the mixture of shock and anticipation from standing several feet away from Ryuichi.

The vocalist sitting in front of him looked as gorgeous as he was on stage; the leather jacket he was wearing was at least two sizes too small for him, it could barely reach his torso. His long bangs covered his eyes and face partially, which intensified his innocent yet attractive look. Many people could hardly believe that the singer was over thirty years old already, the way he was clutching his pink bunny to his chest, as if he were a little child seeking a little comfort from the stuffed toy.  
.   
Ryuichi looked incredibly tiny from the way he buried himself into the couch. The world famous vocalist held up his head and observed the intruder with interest; the multiple pairs of earrings on his ears banged together and sparkled when the disco lights showered on his lean body. 

Who are you? Ryuichi asked briefly.

Tatsuha felt tongue-tied. For years he had thought about what he should say to Ryuichi when they finally meet, however, none came out of his mouth. Now that the moment he was waiting for all those years was finally there, he had no idea what he should do. He wanted to bang his hand against the door and fled from the scene. However, Ryuichi was waiting for his reply, and Tatsuha could not bear disappointing his idol in any ways.

Tatsuha blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, Sakuma-san, I'm your biggest fan and I recognize your voice from next door, so I just had to come and meet you. 

Without waiting for an reply, he continued, why do you always look so sad when you sing Be There, especially during the part if you consider me your burden, I will say so long any time?' Please tell me.

Tatsuha regretted his words once they left his mouth. The question was stupid and rude, and that wasn't how Tatsuha planned to make a first impression on the singer at all. 

Ryuichi looked thoughtfully at Tatsuha, but he didn't offer an answer. The older man held their gaze for some time until he broke it off by picking up his mic and began singing Be There again.

Tatsuha, feeling mortified, attempted to fix his earlier transgression by speaking again, until he decided that it wasn't worth making things worse between them. 

So he bowed his head and apologized, I'm sorry, Sakuma-san. The question was uncalled for. I'll leave you alone now. Sorry for disturbing your night.

Tatsuha was surprised to hear the singing stop when he opened the door. 

Ryuichi said simply. 

Tatsuha turned around and looked at the floor, afraid that Ryuichi was going to scold him for disturbing his peace. The younger boy wasn't sure he could take any criticism, let alone loathing, from the object of his adoration, yes, Sakuma-san? 

You said you want to know why I look sad when I sing Be There, Ryuichi said softly, patting his stuffed toy Kumagoro on its head, why don't you stay with me and hear me sing it one more time? You may find your answer.

Tatsuha couldn't believe his luck. He settled down on the couch furthest away from Ryuichi before the singer could change his mind.

Ryuichi's familiar voice filled the room completely as he resumed singing. The music was loud, but Tatsuha could still hear every word clearly over the melody. He knew the lyrics and song by heart, however, somehow it sounded different from what he had on CD when he heard Ryuichi sing it live, sing it only several feet away from him, and sing it all for him. 

It was as if Ryuichi was communicating something with him through music. Tatsuha felt that he could pass out anytime under Ryuichi's intense gaze. Trying not to blink, Tatsuha attempted to imprint the image of his idol singing inside his head forever, but it was all in vain. He could only stare at the older man's glittering loop earrings in awe.

The song was over before the younger man realized it. He was still spaced out from the powerful impact of what Ryuichi's singing left him.

So, how was it? Did you find your answer? Ryuichi picked up Kumagoro and threw it across to Tatsuha.

Tatsuha caught the pink bunny by reflex. It was great wonderful it was amazing but I I don't 

Ryuichi's smile seemed encouraging yet detached, like the time he announced that he was going to go solo in America three years ago. Tatsuha could still remember the news clip so well; the announcement had caused him a week of non-stop wailing.

Tatsuha suddenly gained an insight.

Could it have anything to do with the split up of Nittle Grasper? 

Tatsuha thought he saw Ryuichi's eyes flash for a second before he closed them momentarily. Standing up, he walked towards the younger boy, leaning towards him until their faces were only inches apart from each other.

Um, yes, Sakuma-san? said Tatsuha coarsely.

They were so close to each other that Tatsuha could feel his breathe touching Ryuichi's hair. The teenage blinked, unsure about what he should do with the situation. Tatsuha couldn't believe that it was happening to him. He wanted to pinch himself and check if he was dreaming. It was all too good to be real.

The teenager settled on staring at the shining loop on Ryuichi's ears; his breath became much faster and shallower. 

Ryuichi grinned. 

Then he retrieved Kumagoro from Tatsuha's clutches, walking away again. 

He spoke to his stuffed toy in his childlike voice, Ryu-chan is tired now. Kumagoro, let's go home together!

Tatsuha let out a sigh - one that he wasn't aware he was holding. What, did he expect Ryuichi to kiss him in a shadowy Karaoke private booth, only minutes after they have just met one another for the first time? 

Feeling slightly disappointed, he followed Ryuichi and left the private booth.

Tatsuha watched Ryuichi call for a cab using his cellular phone. After the call, Ryuichi gestured for the younger boy to tag along.

The two of them didn't speak for several minutes while they waited for the cab in the open. Tatsuha was too nervous to strike up a conversation, so all he did was to observe how Ryuichi played with Kumagoro by throwing the pink bunny into the air and caught it over and over again.

Finally, the cab pulled up in front of them. Gathering all of his courage, Tatsuha stepped closer to Ryuichi, letting the streetlights illuminate him. A piece of paper with his phone number on was clutched in his right hand. He scribbled it when Ryuichi was making the phone call.

Can I see you again, Sakuma-san? Tatsuha handed over the paper with a shaking hand.

Ryuichi chuckled to his stuffed toy and took the paper. Sure, you're an interesting person. Kumagoro likes you too. Where do you live? Let us give you a ride home. 

Hearing that Ryuichi was willing to see him again, Tatsuha threw up his hands and cheered. 

Ryuichi giggled, you knew my name already. What's yours?

Tatsuha laughed. His voice got considerably louder than before. Now, where are my manners? I never even introduced myself! I'm Uesugi Tatsuha, you might have heard of me before, since I'm your band mate's brother-in-law. Thanks for offering me a ride, but I have a motorbike out there and 

Tatsuha didn't get to finish.

Ryuichi cut him off by opening the cab door to his face.

Loosening his grasp on the piece of paper, the singer allowed it to fly away. He settled Kumagoro down at the backseat before speaking again.

It was very nice meeting you, Uesugi-san, yes, I remember your name all right. His voice turned icy when he addressed Tatsuha by his last name, his eyes narrowed and darkened. He stared at Tatsuha's face with intense, as if he was trying to picture the black-haired teenage as someone else. 

However, I don't think I'll be seeing you again after all. Good bye.

Smashing the cab door closed, Ryuichi gave directions and ordered the driver to steer away.

Tatsuha wanted to say something to Ryuichi; he wanted to ask questions, but all he could manage was to open and close his mouth like a goldfish. He felt like he could collapse from the shock at any moment. He wish Ryuichi would step out of the cab and claimed everything he said a minute ago was a joke, but Ryuichi refused to even glance at the teen again.

The cab sped off leaving a trail of dust behind it, as well as a stunted Tatsuha speechless and gawk-eyed at Ryuichi's departure.

---------

Reviews are welcome; they will motivate me to post and write faster. ^_^ 


	2. Reflection

Piece of Love 

By Anomay 

Rating: PG-13 (for now, anyway)  
Genre: Angst/Romance

Note: Big thanks go to Anahita for being my beta-reader! A special thank will also go to those reviewed my first chapter! 

Chapter Two: Reflection

  
*~*~*

Tatsuha groaned and hid his head underneath the pillows when his father came to his room and tore away his blanket on the following Monday morning.

"Look at how shameless you are, sleeping in on a bright morning! I do not have a disobedient son like you. I command you to wake up now, Tatsuha!" said the Buddhist monk and current head of the Uesugi temple. 

"Leave me alone, old man! I don't feel well enough to go to school today!"

"Nonsense. If you want to continue living underneath my roof, you WILL wake up at this instant and go to school today," his father said, exercising his authority and promptly hit Tatsuha with a wooden stick on the head. 

"What was that for? That hurts!" Tatsuha whined, ignoring the harsh shot that his father gave him. 

"Serves you right, you lazy bum. Really, young men these days have no discipline at all! I still remember what a difficult life we led when your late mother and I were still young " 

"All right, I'll get up, sir, so could you please cut out your long lectures? Thank you!" said Tatsuha as he rushed towards the washroom, effectively blocking his father's boomingvoice by the thick wooden door.

Tatsuha wasn't lying when he said he didn't feel well that day. He was still recovering from the shock of being shunned by his favourite person in the world just two nights ago. He still didn't understand what had exactly happened; first he was invited to hear Ryuichi sing live in a Karaoke bar, then he almost formed a friendship with the superstar, only to have it all destroyed at the end when he said that his name was Uesugi Tatsuha. 

What had he done wrong? 

Why had Ryuichi changed his attitude completely when Tatsuha introduced himself?

Why would a super star like him be singing alone in a private Karaoke booth in Kyoto on a Saturday night when others would have paid millions to hear him perform?

Tatsuha spent the previous day pondering those questions, but he still hadn't managed to come up with a satisfactory answer. 

He was depressed and had under-slept the night before. It wasn't like everyday that you got to meet your idol and had him smash the door in your face. Truth be told, Tatsuha would have loved to spend the next week or so moping inside his room, avoiding everyone and revelling in his own teenage angst.

But of course, he still had to go to school everyday and pretended nothing was wrong, because his father wouldn't allow him to skip his studies for any reasons, never mind the fact that Tatsuha didn't need the education, because it was already determined that he was going to inherit the temple one day, since his older brother Eiri had expressed a genuine dislike for associating himself with his father in any way. 

Why did Buddhist monks need to study Chemistry and go to universities? From Tatsuha's perspective, all he needed for doing his priestly duty were acting skills and a low murmuring voice so that people couldn't tell what exactly he was reciting during ceremonies. He could be chanting "I want to have hot passionate sex with Sakuma Ryuichi" for all he cared; no one would be able to tell the difference anyway.

Splashing water on his face, Tatsuha wiped his eyes hard with a thick towel. He studied himself closely in the mirror; there were dark circles under his eyes and his skin was sallowbecause of lack of sleep.

"What are you doing upstairs, Tatsuha? Come down and have breakfast with me at once!" his father was at it again. 

Sighing, Tatsuha pulled on his school uniform quickly and went downstairs. 

*~*~*

On the way to his high school, Tatsuha met his buddy Dachi on the bus.

"Hey, Tatsuha, what's up? Why did you leave us suddenly on Saturday? We had a blast after you left!"

"Really? Good for you." Yawning, Tatsuha leaned his body against his friend and closed his eyes.

"You're heavy, get off me! Seriously, you look so sick. What, did you have too much fun screwing with some cute babes over the weekend?"

"Speak for yourself ! No, that isn't the reason why I'm tired," Tatsuha continued to lean on his friend despite his protests. "Listen, I had a bad weekend, and I don't want to discuss it. Leave me alone, okay?"

Dachi looked at Tatsuha with concern. "Are you sure you're fine, Tatsuha? I haven't seen you so dead before." he put his hand on his friend's forehead and felt for the temperature. "You don't seem to have a fever "

  
The two of them almost lost their balances when the school bus pulled in front of the school gate.

Tatsuha nodded, "I'll be fine soon, don't you worry about me. It's time for us to get off the bus now, by the way."

With a worried expression on his face, Dachi dragged Tatsuha across the schoolyard and entered the main building.

*~*~*

Tatsuha still felt ill after the lunch break. He really should have taken the advice of his friend Arimi and left early, he thought.  
It didn't help that the period immediately after the lunch break was Ogata-sensei's Japanese literature class. The teacher was fairly young, but he never gave his students any time to slack off.

Ogata-sensei glanced around the room, effectively silencing everyone, "Today we're going to talk about The Tale of Genji, open your textbook to page fifty-six."

"The Tale of Genji is a story about the interactions between Genji and the women that he encounters. The tale mostly explores the different themes of love, affection, friendship, filial loyalty, and family." Ogata-sensei said.

He saw Tatsuha's body slumped over his desk. Frowning, he stopped lecturing and slammed his book onto the teacher's desk as a warning. The classmates sitting around Tatsuha were trying to give him a warning signal, however, the black-haired boy was too dazed to realize what kind of trouble he was going to get into later.

"Genji wanders through the landscape of life, death, and love while maintaining a Teflon-like dignity," at this point Ogata-sensei gave up all pretence and yelled, "Uesugi-kun, may I have your attention please!?"

Startled, Tatsuha stood up abruptly, almost knocking his chair over. "Yes, Sensei?"

"What is the meaning of the poem that the empress wrote to Genji after his dance?"

"Page fifty-six," murmured Dachi. Shooting his friend a grateful look, Tatsuha turned the page and read:

  
In the movement of the dancing sleeves.  
Could you perceive the storm of love within?  
Far away from the man from China waved his sleeves.  
Every wave touching the bottom of my heart.

  
Tatsuha shook his head and started explaining, "This poem portrays the emotion between Genji and his step-mother. Their love runs deep, however, their social status and differences in age stop them from getting it on with each other. The empress knows that loving Genji, otherwise known as the shining one, is a sin; however, their feelings are seriously killing them, and she'll gladly become a sinner for the sake of her inevitable love for her step-son." 

Tatsuha stopped for a second and beamed, "I admire this Genji guy. He gets to sleep around with different women from age fifteen to forty-five, usually more than one during the same period! I wonder how can he keep up with the demand. He's so my role-model!" 

The whole class erupted with laughers and it took some time for the teacher to calm it down. 

If Ogata-sensei was annoyed or impressed with the explanation, he didn't show it. "Thank you for your insightful comment, Uesugi-kun, though if I were you, I would leave parts of it out of a classroom setting."

Tatsuha smirked; he didn't have an award-winning and smut-loving writer brother for nothing. 

In reality, Tatsuha had read entire The Tale of Genji in traditional Japanese when he was still a junior high kid, partly out of interest for wanting to know how an ancient playboy woos his women, and partly because his brother said he might enjoy it. (Yes, he enjoyed the sex scenes very much) Having been forced to read rolls of Buddhist sutra since age five, Tatsuha found the book to be a piece of cake to understand.

*~*~*

After getting compliments from his friends about his splendid performance in the literature class, Tatsuha turned down all offers to hang out after school and left by himself. 

He had cheered up a little, but he was still troubled by Ryuichi's complete change of attitude towards him after he introduced himself. Anyone would have ground their teeth and lost nights of sleep when they were so close in forming a decent friendship with their idol, only it all went down to the drain at the end! 

It was so frustrating when Tatsuha just couldn't figure out why he was rejected. Always an all-around popular guy at school and everywhere else, Tatsuha wasn't used to being turned down by anyone. He could usually capture anyone's attention by his looks, charms, brains or attitude. Since their family was rich and he was the youngest son in the household, he often got what he asked for. 

He definitely did not like being forsaken, especially by the one whom he desired to impress the most.

Feeling hungry all of a sudden, Tatsuha decided to make a detour and stopped by his favourite ramen shop before he headed home. 

When he was slurping up the noodles, he heard a familiar voice talk loudly. 

"Hey, Kumagoro, we got to visit that place again. Aren't you excited? I am! Ryu-chan is definitely filled. Yeah!" 

Tatsuha assumed Ryuichi meant "thrilled" and not "filled", because otherwise it didn't make sense. He couldn't stop himself from giggling at the little mistake the man made. 

Waving his pink bunny around like a puppet and having a "two-way conversation" with it, Ryuichi was drawing quite a crowd around him, but he didn't seem to notice the attention. 

'Well, aren't we the lucky one?' Tatsuha thought to himself. He got to meet Ryuichi in person twice in the same week; maybe he should begin buying lottery tickets, Tatsuha thought. He stopped eating and followed Ryuichi in spite of himself. He wanted to demand an explanation from the N-G vocalist about the other night.

Praying that no one was paying attention to his stalker-like actions because he didn't want to be thrown in jail, Tatsuha followed Ryuichi from a safe distance. It was hard to lose Ryuichi on the street. He was so loud and bouncy - Tatsuha could hardly believe that was the same man whose eyes turned icy when he left with the cab after their first meeting. 

After five minutes of walking, Ryuichi finally entered a building, singing loudly to himself about how bright the sky was. Tatsuha didn't hesitate in following the man. He took a quick peek at the name on the front gate.

The building was a rehabilitation centre.

Paling a little, Tatsuha took the school badge off his uniform. He swallowed audibly and pulled on his uniform tie as he went into the building.

Cultural note: 

The tale of Genji: It is believed that an anonymous person wrote it during the 11th century; nowadays it is highly regarded by Japanese scholars and is widely studied. What Ogata and Tatsuha said about it inside the fanfiction is pretty accurate (I didn't make the story nor the poem up), although I deliberately take out parts and draw parallels with the relationship between Tatsuha and Ryuichi later on in the story. For more information, check out the Kodansha Bilingual Comics by Waki Yamato. That's your literature lecture for today. ^_~ 


	3. Acknowledgement

Piece of Love By Anomay 

Rating: PG-13 (for now, anyway)

Genre: Angst/Romance

Note: Big thanks go to Genesis Grey for being my beta!

  
Chapter Three: Acknowledgement

  
*~*~*

  
Tatsuha's first impression of the inside of the premise was that it felt like a home. The walls were painted with warm and cheerful colours, various drawings were scattered and pinned up randomly on the bulletin boards. They were obviously drawn by small children, and Tatsuha couldn't help but smile at the cute drawing of a boy flying towards the moon in a space shuttle. 

He was startled when he was suddenly pulled into a dark room and someone shovelled a pile of clothes into his hands.

"Go get changed right now! They're waiting for us already!" said a middle age woman wearing a pair of thick, round glasses and a very colourful sweater. Her voice was loud and clear. Although she wasn't wearing an apron, Tatsuha could just imagine her baking cookies for her kids in the kitchen. 

"But I who what's going on?" Blinking, Tatsuha allowed himself to be pushed inside the changing room next door. 

"Sakuma-san brought you here right?"

"Well, I guess you can say that but what does it have to do with ?" 

"There is no time for questions now! Just hurry!" 

Her words carried an air of authority that Tatsuha felt compelled to obey her. Sighing, he gave a closer look at the clothes.

It was an animal outfit, one that resembled a bear to be exact, complete with claws made from brown cotton cloth and a headpiece with small, round ears. It was very cute; but under no circumstances would he like to wear it in front of his friends. Not to mention that he had absolutely no idea what was going on.

Putting on the costume quickly, Tatsuha reflected with a sinking heart that it might be karmic punishment for him to stalk Ryuichi. 

*~*~*

Tatsuha couldn't see very well underneath the headpiece. He had to be led by the lady in the glasses into the next room. He could still breathe and move around, but that was about all the movement his costume would allow him to accomplish. He finally understood how the Tokyo Disneyland employees felt when they were pretending to be friendly, giant animals in the amusement park on a hot summer day.

He was quite taken back when he encountered a room filled with about a dozen of young kids, sitting eerily quiet around an animated Ryuichi in the middle. He was wearing the bunny costume that he seemed to be extremely fond of again. Holding up Kumagoro in his left hand as if it were a puppet, Ryuichi narrated in a boyish voice.

"So Peter Pan said, 'let's come to the Neverland again soon! We'll miss you!'" Ryuichi illustrated the story by imitating a bird and flopped his hands up and down as if he could suddenly float in the midair. The children, strangely enough, didn't give too much of an eager response to Ryuichi's lively acting and interesting story.

However, Ryuichi didn't seem to be bothered by the lack of response. He smiled and swung Kumagoro around, "but of course, when children grew up, they can't go back to the Neverland. So Tinker Bell smashed Peter Pan on his head and said, 'Wendy and the boys can't come back anymore. So this is good-bye forever!'"

The children seemed to be bothered by this statement, but they didn't protest loudly. A few of them frowned in silence. Ryuichi smiled at the gang of them, "but of course, as long as you don't grow up, you can always go back!" 

Suddenly recognizing Tatsuha's presence, Ryuichi stopped his storytelling and squeaked, "here's Kuma-san, the bear! He's a friend of Kumagoro here, so everyone says hi to him!" 

A few kids raised their heads and nodded at Tatsuha. The bear, having no idea about what he should do, waved back awkwardly. 

"Enough stories already! Let's sing a song together!" Ryuichi proclaimed while he pulled Tatsuha inside the centre of the circle. He picked up a guitar sitting nearby and started singing: 

Oh, rabbit on the moon,  
What are you leaping for?  
I shall leap, I shall leap soon  
At the large full moon! 

"Hey, come on, let's sing and dance, everyone!" Ryuichi, nodding to Tatsuha, signalled for him to lead the dance. 

Tatsuha started dancing in a way that he thought was bear-like. Stepping up and down, going left and right, he raised his hands and feet clumsily and slowly as Ryuichi continued to sing the Rabbit Song. The children watched him with interest, though all of them still remained seated.

Seeing that he had captured everyone's attention, Tatsuha started to jump up and down like he was doing aerobics. Ryuichi, with laugher in his eyes, sang even louder in his thick, deep voice. 

Suddenly, Tatsuha the bear fell down onto the floor, tripping on the costume. The kids winced in pain; one of them ran towards him and helped him get up.

Tatsuha shook his head and said, "Kuma-san is okay, really! He's just trying too hard to leap to the full moon and catch the bunny!"

Ryuichi put down his guitar and he looked at Tatsuha with concern, "Awww, big Kuma-san is hurt! Kumagoro says his friend should rest a bit over at the bench so he won't get a big bump on his bear bum tomorrow!" 

"Your wish is my command, Sakuma-san," Tatsuha said, patting the little girl's head once before he dragged his body to the bench.

Not daring to remove his headpiece, he sat down and watched Ryuichi singing with the kids. He seemed very different from the superstar that performed on stage. When he was singing with Noriko and Tohma as a member of Nittle Grasper, he was sex incarnate. Usually dressed in clothes that were meant to reveal, not to cover up his body, Ryuichi was irresistible and a dream that was too unreachable for all his fans. He was beautiful and sexy, like a shining star in the sky, which one admired from far away and ogled with awe. His voice would bring you into a fantasy world that you wished you would never wake up from it. 

However, he was like a big child himself when he was singing with the kids. His presence in the group felt natural and comfortable, and Tatsuha could see that the kids simply accepted him as one of them. Ryuichi was lively when sitting inside the circle; his eyes lit and sparkled with happiness, and his musical voice was like silver bells ringing at the touch of the wind. Tatsuha watched this brand new Sakuma Ryuichi with admiration and amazement.

It felt as if Ryuichi were a real person, not some unreachable digital god. For the first time Tatsuha felt as if he had a chance with this new Ryuichi.

"He's wonderful, isn't he?" said the lady in glasses when she sat down beside Tatsuha.

"Yes, he's completely amazing!" squealed Tatsuha.

"Can you imagine my surprise when he came to our centre one day and said he wanted to sing for the kids at no cost?" the lady shook her head in disbelief, "the world famous Sakuma Ryuichi! His only wish was for us not to tell anyone about his involvement with the centre, which I was most happy to abide."

Tatsuha had a newfound respect for Ryuichi. He thought most rock stars were obsessed with money, like his brother-in-law Seguchi Tohma was. But then Tatsuha could tell that Ryuichi was very different from Tohma, even though they were band mates. 

"Most kids here aren't like normal kids," the lady said, "some of them suffer from schizophrenia, some from autism, and some we still haven't figured out yet."

Tatsuha wasn't familiar with the subject area. So he kept his silence.

"However, most of them have reacted positively when they are singing and playing with Sakuma-san. He makes a wonderful musical therapist. Usually you need a university degree to become one, but as you can see, he's a natural in the area."

Tatsuha could only nodded in agreement. He knew nothing about music therapy, but he could that the kids were happy with Ryuichi's company. He watched in interest when Ryuichi brought out some drums and triangles and let the children play along. 

"Can Kuma-san join again?" Tatsuha yelled across the room.

Ryuichi smiled and waved his stuffed toy around eagerly, "sure, Kumagoro says maybe you and him can perform a bear-bunny competition!"

Bowing deeply and raising his claws in a most comical way, the bear man rushed over to join his idol and the children again. 

*~*~*

Tatsuha was very tired by the time he had finished seeing all the children off. Ryuichi was still bouncy and hyper. Tatsuha had to wonder where the man got his energy. 

Sitting on a wooden chair inside the changing room and resting, Ryuichi was still giddy over the past few hours. The room was stuffy and dim and there was furniture and clothing everywhere on the floor. 

"Kuma-san, thanks for coming today and helping us out! Do you think you can come again next week? The children simply adore you!"

Tatsuha looked at his reflection, as well as the bunny man behind him, from the mirror on the wall. He felt suffocated and sweaty inside the suit after all the jumping around he had done. However, he was still afraid to take off his headpiece. They had fun together during the game, but what if Ryuichi was mad about seeing him again? Ryuichi had seemed very detached when he had left him in front of the Karaoke bar several nights ago.

"Of course, I'd love to come again, Sakuma-san," said Tatsuha, "but I think you might change your mind very soon."

Tatsuha watched Ryuichi blink in confusion from the mirror and sighed. Putting Kumagoro on his head and trying to balance it without success, Ryuichi asked, "why? I don't understand "

Tatsuha banged his head lightly against the mirror. Ryuichi got up, and put a concerned hand on the boy's shoulder. 

"What's wrong, Kuma-san? Tell me, I want to help!"

Slowly turning around and putting some distance between himself and the man Tatsuha pushed away the hand gently. 

Tatsuha wanted to throw a fit to show that everything was wrong. He wanted to know why Ryuichi brushed him off. He wanted to hug Ryuichi's legs and asked for his forgiveness, because he couldn't bear thinking that he had displeased his God in any ways. He also wanted to laugh with Ryuichi again; he remembered how dazzling and unguarded Ryuichi's smile looked when he was with the kids. He wanted to see that Ryuichi again.

But Tatsuha ended up doing nothing. He couldn't settle on anything that would properly express how he felt. 

It was about time that he revealed himself. Cinderella had to leave the prince when the magic disappeared at midnight. He wondered how Ryuichi would react when Kuma-san turned back into the normal, boring and commonplace Tatsuha again.

'Well, here we go nothing,' Tatsuha thought. 

Tittering to himself, he took off his bear headpiece. He tidied his mussed hair with his furry claw, wanting to appear his best in front of the unmoving man.

Finally, Tatsuha settled for staring at Ryuichi, unblinking. He didn't want to look anywhere else but Ryuichi's honey-coloured eyes; the pair of eyes that Tatsuha had been after for the longest time. 

Ryuichi did nothing to avoid the direct gaze. 

"That's the reason why you probably don't want Kuma-san here again." Tatsuha's voice echoed in the small changing room.

Suddenly strike by a realization after looking at the strange yet familiar face for a few moments, Ryuichi's eyes widened in surprise. He backed away several steps, until his feet hit one of the boxes lying on the floor. He didn't seem to realize the box was there though. He collapsed onto the wooden chair behind him at last, Kumagoro dropped and forgotten.. 

"You're Uesugi Tatsuha "

  
To be continued 

  
For more information about music therapy, visit w ww.mt abc.com/openingpage.ht m l

If you hear the rabbit song in Japanese (yes, it's a real song), you can download it at w ww.m amalisa.com/world/rabbit.h t ml 


	4. Revelation

Piece of Love   
By Anomay 

Rating: PG-13 (for now, anyway)

Genre: Angst/Romance

Note: Gravitation does not belong to me. I'd like to thank Anahita and Genesis Grey for being my beta readers. Special thanks to Janette for helping me come up with a better summary. 

Thanks for your reviews and your patience with me. Hopefully I can update more often from now on. ^_^ This story has nothing to do with Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne - I just happen to like the opening song very much. 

Constructive criticism is very welcome, but of course, any kind of feedback is nice as well. Ok, enough babbling. Onto the show!

  
*~*~*

  
Chapter Four: Revelation

  
"You're Uesugi Tatsuha "Ryuichi said.

Tatsuha only nodded. At least Ryuichi hadn't forgotten his name yet. That was a good sign. 

Tatsuha took a deep breath. His fingers played with the threads on a piece of fabric sitting on top of a broken cupboard. He had so many questions to ask, but he didn't know where to start. Besides, who gave him the rights to ask Sakuma Ryuichi anything? He barely knew this super-star. He was just a fanboy. Nothing more. 

He didn't deserve to talk to him. He didn't deserve to stay in the same room with him. He didn't deserve to stay so close to him, breathe the same air, or even look directly into his eyes.

I'm sorry! Please forget what I said the other night! Ryuichi bowed like a salesperson welcoming customers in front of a retail store. 

Tatsuha almost dropped dead on the floor. His head banged painfully against the corner of the cupboard.

Ouch! No it's ok, it's fine, it's perfectly ok, I wasn't mad or anything I was just upset and wanted to know why. Tatsuha winced and rubbed his sore spot. Please! Don't bow to me! You're making me all nervous if you want to apologize, I'd prefer a kiss actually what the hell am I saying? Really! It's fine, Sakuma-san! Look at me and we can talk! Please? 

Face flushed scarlet, Ryuichi slowly got up and stared at Tatsuha. So you aren't mad at me? Really?

No! Of course not! How could I? Tatsuha started laughing nervously.

Thank goodness! What a relief! Kumagoro said I should say sorry because I was very rude to you that night. I shouldn't have acted that way. Ryuichi scolded his bunny and gave a playful punch on its head. It wasn't your fault.

Tatsuha wiped his forehead with a shirtsleeve, trying to ignore the pain on the back of his head. He felt dizzy, and the pain was clouding his consciousness. Can I ask why? His voice tailed on the last syllable a little longer than he intended.

Ryuichi held up Kumagoro and flopped its ears around like an electric fan. You reminded Ryu-chan of that scary, bad person that he doesn't get along with. You two are related after all.

Tatsuha could only blink. Shaking his head, he tried to concentrate. Somehow bothering Ryuichi didn't seem such a crime anymore. When his head felt like it was going to split in half soon, he didn't care so much for being a pain in the ass. He had to know.

Ryuichi covered up his bunny's mouth with both of his hands. Sheesh! No more! You said you wouldn't tell, Kumagoro! He looked at Tatsuha with pleading eyes. I don't want to talk about this. Can we just drop the whole thing?

There was no way Tatsuha could pretend nothing happened. But who could resist Ryuichi when he looked at you with that pair of bright innocent eyes? 

Err – that was really nice of you to offer to play with the children. Tatsuha quickly changed the topic to something else.

Ryuichi beamed like a sunflower getting sunshine. It was fun! You know that girl with two pigtails? Her name is Karou and she's eight. She's like the sweetest thing ever, and she reminds me of Saki-chan. Ah, you know, Saki is Noriko's daughter. She's six. I'm her godfather.

She was too loud. She mistook me as my brother the last time we met, and she almost got me killed by his fans by screaming that Yuki Eiri was with her. It was really scary. Tatsuha shuddered at the memory. He knew better than to dye his hair blonde again. For the last time, he cursed whatever out there to give him and Eiri an almost identical face.

Ryuichi winked. Saki-chan is the nicest little girl you'll meet as long as you get on her good side. I haven't seen her for a while now. And you know the boy who is missing a front tooth earlier? He's Sousuke, and he likes to sing too!

Tatsuha couldn't help but smile. You really adore the children very much.

You bet! They're like family to me!

Tohma and Noriko-san are like family to you too, aren't they?

Yeah! You know Tohma and Nori-chan too? But of course, you are his brother-in-law. I always forget about that. You're nothing like Tohma though.

Tatsuha swallowed hard. Here it goes nothing, he thought. If you know I'm related to Seguchi, why do you say you hate one or all of my relatives then?

Ryuichi's face quickly lost its colour and his lips started to squirm. I thought we aren't going to talk about it anymore!

I never said that. Tatsuha felt his temper rising above the ceiling. His head was still bothering him as he grabbed the wall to steady himself. He glared at the floor like a stubborn child when his parents interrogated him for nicking food from a jar. He wouldn't crack until Ryuichi rewarded him with something better than sweets – the truth.

An unpleasant pause filled up the room until Ryuichi got up and crawled through the garbage on the floor. Well, we gotta go. Kumagoro and I had something planned ahead of time, so we'll talk to you later! Hopefully you'll come again next week! The kids loved you!

Tatsuha ran towards the only door in the room and blocked it with his back. No, I don't think so, Sakuma-san. He took a deep breath and wished to Buddha that his voice stayed steady for the rest of the speech. I don't need an apology. But don't you think you owe me an explanation?

Ryuichi tried to shove Tatsuha away from the door. Trust me, you don't wanna know. I said I'm sorry, isn't that good enough?

I won't be able to sleep for the rest of my life if you don't tell me! Tatsuha staggered towards Ryuichi, who backed off until they hit the wall. I have to know or 

Tatsuha's words were cut off when he felt Ryuichi's soft breath brushed on his lips. Tatsuha gasped. He couldn't believe what was happening. Ryuichi was kissing him!

Hands wrapping around the slender shoulders, Tatsuha pulled the man into a tighter embrace by instinct. Ryuichi's lips felt so soft – like melted marshmallows and cream mixed together, only he tasted rougher around the corners. His body was warm and muscled, and it took every bit of self-control that the boy had to stand up straight and not be swept away.

By the time Tatsuha's brain decided to work again, Ryuichi was already at the door, giggling, far away from his body heat. The kiss started too suddenly, and it ended too quickly. 

Tatsuha groaned in frustration.

Ryuichi chuckled. You got your kiss. Happy now? You can't ask me any more questions! See you next week!

Ryuichi quickly opened the door and slipped out. Just when Tatsuha was about to get up, Kumagoro's head suddenly poked back as if it had forgotten something. The stuffed bunny nodded to Tatsuha and said, you'd better show up next week or I'll cry! It too disappeared from sight.

Tatsuha couldn't help but laugh at their departure. Ouch. Touché. You win, Ryuichi.

*~*~*

Shindo Shuichi wasn't a terribly impatient person. 

Living with Yuki Eiri for a year had taught him that, patience was indeed, a virtue. However, since he hadn't spent any quality time with his boyfriend for the longest time because of the gigantic workload that K and Sakano put him through for their upcoming CD album release, anyone could understand why he wasn't the best host around when an unannounced guest showed up at their home on that particular night. 

Shuichi glared at the man sitting opposite of him and Eiri on the couch and pouted. 

So, you wanted to know if Sakuma and I had crossed path before. You came to Tokyo just for this simple question. Eiri raised an eyebrow and smashed the cigarette butt into the already full ashtray on the coffee table. Have you ever heard of a household item called a phone before, by any chance?

Yeah, sorry for disturbing your perfectly peaceful evening. Come on! I had to ask you in person, because the answer is way too important to me! Tatsuha breathed in deeply before exclaiming. It's a matter of life and death!

Shuichi jumped up from the couch. I can answer for you! As far as I know, Yuki and Sakuma-san have never met before, and so, there's no chance in hell that they could have pissed off each other! Does that answer your question?

Tatsuha sighed in relief. He looked at Eiri. Is that true?

Eiri snorted. No, actually I have met him before. 

Tatsuha tightened his fists. He forced himself to calm down. Losing his temper was the worst way to deal with Eiri. He could strangle Eiri after he knew how exactly Eiri had hurt Ryuichi.

Shuichi blinked and tugged at Eiri's shirtsleeve, apparently not happy that he got some detail about his boyfriend wrong. Shuichi thought he knew everything about his Yuki! He pouted more when Eiri ignored him. 

We had met during Aneki's wedding. Didn't you remember? Well, if you can call that a meeting, that is. I don't think interacting with a talking stuffed toy counts. So whatever you were thinking, you were wrong.

Tatsuha loosened his fists, picked up the coffee in front of him, and drank the whole cup in one go. 

Her wedding! Of course. How could I forget about all that? I missed seeing Ryuichi just because I had a high fever! Tatsuha said darkly. If Father hadn't tied me to my bed, I would have met him ages ago!

Count your blessings. Aneki was especially bitchy during the wedding. You'd think Father forced her to get married for the sake of the family or something, except we all knew that she loved tying Seguchi to her little fingers and bossed him around.

Shuichi whimpered as he remembered how exactly Mika had bossed him around in the past.

Well, it doesn't matter now, because I've finally met him in person! Tatsuha grinned.

Curiosity got the better of Shuichi when Sakuma-san was concerned. Really, Tatsuha-san? You've finally met him? How did it go? Shuichi asked in a flat voice, trying not to sound too interested. He wanted Tatsuha to leave them alone as soon as possible after all. Where did you meet him? I haven't seen him around in the studio for a while, and I wonder if he's doing ok 

Tatsuha couldn't help himself and grinned even wider like a cat that had just swallowed a bird whole. We met at Kyoto. It went well enough! Ryuichi was fucking amazing!

So you finally got laid by him, huh? Congratulation, now you can throw the disgusting posters you have of him away. They weren't exactly spotless after you jerked off to them. Eiri threw a box of tissue papers at Tatsuha. Wipe your drool. The couch you're sitting on came from Italy and cost me a fortune. Leave before I kick you away.

Shuichi nodded most eagerly at Eiri's suggestion.

Tatsuha smirked. We didn't fuck, but it's any day now. We'll send you an invitation when we get married in Las Vegas. Thanks for your oh-so-wonderful concern, Aniki. He looked at the clock. Now that my question is answered, I should leave you two lovebirds alone. Wow, look at the time! I'd better go to Aneki's place right now before she slams the door in my face. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

About fucking time.

Bye, Tatsuha-san! It was nice having you over, but next time, please call before you decide to drop by! Shuichi dashed off to the closet and took Tatsuha's leather jacket out. He even opened the door for him.

Gotcha. Sorry for interrupting, Shuichi. Tatsuha gave a little wave without looking back. 

Shuichi sighed happily when he closed the door behind Tatsuha. He danced back to the sitting room and launched onto Eiri. 

Yeah, we're finally alone again! He started to unbutton Eiri's shirt and unzip the fly on his pants. 

Eiri pushed away Shuichi's hand. Forget about it. That damned horny teenager ruined my mood. Let's just go to bed and call it a day.

Aw! No way! We haven't been together since last week! Shuichi rubbed his face against Eiri's chest, which was now bare because Shuichi had yanked away the shirt. You can't do this to me! I miss you very much, really! 

Another horny teenager that I have to deal with in my life. Eiri shook his head, but his eyes betrayed that he was damned amused by Shuichi's reaction. He got up suddenly, causing Shuichi to slide down the floor.

That hurts! Don't just drop me!

Are you coming or not? Eiri said as he closed the bedroom door.

Of course! Beaming widely, Shuichi followed him.

*~*~*

It was fortunate that Tatsuha knew his way around Tokyo very well, or he would have gotten lost on his way to Mika's house. He had debated about calling Tohma and had his dedicated driver to come pick him up, but he decided that he would rather take the subway and use to time to ponder over everything.

He was taking the escalator down when two giggling high school girls bumped into him. They apologized, winked at him, and left grumpily when Tatsuha was too deep in thoughts to realize that they were checking him out. 

Since there was nothing wrong between Eiri and Ryuichi, that only left Mika. Tatsuha couldn't understand how his sister and Ryuichi could have any connection whatsoever with one another. 

The train arrived when Tatsuha got off the escalator, sucking all the breath out of the passengers' lungs as it came to a temporary halt. The passengers around him eyed the empty seats inside the cart like hunting hounds; they poured into the train the moment that the doors opened a crack just barely wide enough to let them in. Tatsuha strolled towards an empty corner, where he was away from everyone else. 

He frowned at the advertisement on the walls of the tunnel through the glass windows. Ryuichi left him so confused. He would gladly kill for Ryuichi, but not before he completely understood the situation. One moment Ryuichi was slamming the door on his face, and another moment he kissed him just so Tatsuha would stop asking questions. 

How did Ryuichi feel about him actually? Was he amusing, annoying, or interesting? Did he make an impression? 

Tatsuha felt like he was a puppet – and Ryuichi could control him however he wanted by merely lifting his fingers. It was enchanting, yet very frustrating at the same time. Tatsuha wanted to understand what was going on, but Ryuichi wasn't likely to answer him directly it seemed. 

Tatsuha closed his eyes as the train left the platform, balancing his body delicately over the metal bar he was leaning on and the cold glass door behind his back. 

He hoped he wouldn't fall over when the train stopped at the next station. 


End file.
